Frisbee Golf?

“When we deny the story, it defines us. 
When we own the story, we can write a brave new ending.” 
- Brené Brown

The story this holiday season is pretty clear—like most of the year 2020, it will be different in so many ways. We all experienced Halloween and Thanksgiving 2020-style, and we are now racing into the seasons of Hanukkah, Christmas, and Kwanzaa. In the Wipke household, we have done our best to embrace change with a smile. However, I must admit that not seeing my mother, sister, and in-laws over Thanksgiving was a real bummer, to put it mildly. I try to remind myself there will be many holidays and events to celebrate in the years ahead, but right now those reminders can sometimes feel very hollow.   

As noted in this quote above by Brené Brown, we should not deny our 2020 story; indeed, we should own it. It does absolutely no good to point fingers, find fault, or assume people are not doing their best. We have to not only acknowledge, but embrace, the fact that we are all in this pandemic year together and we share in the responsibility of determining what comes next. What we do today will strongly influence the future. Clearly, doing all we can to not spread the virus is key. However, we have emotional responsibilities as well, as our attitudes now will significantly impact our psyche in the years to come.

As I said, I struggle with the changes and differences just like everyone and am so done with COVID-19, as they say. In fact, probably like yours, my entire family is done. However, there is a glue keeping us intact, focused, disciplined, and in a healthy mindset; and that is my wife, Jennifer. Without
hesitation, I can say she has taught me more during the pandemic about managing the issues we face and doing our part to reduce the spread while finding ways to remain true to our family and traditions in safe and healthy ways.

Jennifer has owned the issues from the start, and her resolve has been to be as creative as she can in writing (in advance) the ending of the pandemic story for the Wipke household. Building powerful family memories has always been important to Jennifer, and that is the case now more than ever. Throughout the last few months, when the weather was nice enough, Jennifer organized family meals with her parents and her siblings on the driveway, with masks and social distancing in place. She has found special surprise gifts and baked cookies for my mom and left them waiting for her at her retirement center. And these are just a few of the examples of how she has ensured our family has become even more connected than ever before.  

The latest example was over the Thanksgiving weekend. We were trying to find a creative way to spend time with my oldest daughter, Jamison, and her husband, Jared. Although Jamison and Jared are in our “bubble” and could come over to our house to enjoy an awesome dinner, we wanted to do something more. In a typical year, we would do things involving other people, whether it be shopping, visits with more extended family, or seeing friends from out-of-state. Those things were obviously not in the cards this year. 

Jennifer was undaunted and resolved to make it special anyway; and it was amazing. While she has many talents, she is not the most athletically inclined. Nevertheless, she decided that on the day after Thanksgiving we would all go out to Unger Park in Fenton to play Frisbee Golf. (What purists might refer to as Disc Golf.) Frisbee Golf is certainly not one of my wife’s passions, but being with family is. So, off we went to play a full 18 holes. She tried with all her might to toss that frisbee in ways I have personally never seen before. We jumped over puddles and tried to avoid the mud as, hole by hole, we laughed, smiled, and made safe, healthy, lasting memories our family will always treasure.  

In my life, the person who has best made lemonade out of lemons in 2020 has been Jennifer. Despite the fact that she had to stop working at her preschool to help our son, Jacob, while he was home doing online learning, I think she would tell you it has been good for their relationship. (This is certainly not to say that she is not ready for him to be in school full time again!)   

Part of my purpose in writing this is to share my personal story with you. However, what I also realize is that there are other “Jennifers” out there. People who are making the best of this very challenging situation, who are finding creative ways to brighten the lives of others, and who are ensuring that when 2020 is looked back upon, loved ones have memories that make them smile. Perhaps you are a Jennifer. Perhaps you know one. I hope so. These people are going to be so important in writing the “brave new endings” to this madness we call 2020.